Bali 2010

Sunday, 14 April 2013

Am I normal?



Am I normal??? I've been battling with depression and anxiety for the last 6 months. Everything seems normal except that I am always angry with no reason at all. I'm impatient, wants to do My way, will not take no for an answer, aggressive and so on and so forth. My relationship with the people around me turns sour. I am always angry at one person to another and the cycle continues. I get annoyed easily and frustrated most of the time. Nothing can make me happy. I'm always sad and sometimes I cry with no reason at all. I've seen a doctor for couple of times... I thought she might be of help but instead it turns out worst..  My pasts hunts me...and she said it all began during childhood, which I don't agree at all. Then I stopped my therapy with her.. I told myself...if no one can help me I'll help my self but it didn't work. I was okay for few days, weeks then I'll have my attack..then I'll be okay again for few days then another attack. 

I turned my anger and frustration to retail therapy I thought it will helped me be happy. Yes, I was okay for few days but when I see my wallet and my bank account I get depress again.

Today, is my nth time to have one of those attacks. I sometimes feel really bad for my husband because I always vent my anger and frustration onto him. He is the most patient and understanding person I know. There are times when I think of just going away somewhere alone...where no one knows me..but I'm too scared. This day is one of the day that I hate most...I hope I'll feel better soon. :(

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